Dear Audacious You Readers,
In this post, I’d like to challenge you to expand your mind and heartspace to embrace a fundamental truth: YOU ARE ENOUGH!
THE IMPACT OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM
I’ve seen firsthand the debilitating impact of low self-esteem in my own family, clients, and even students whom I’ve taught over the years. I’ve seen so much brilliance and light go uncultivated because of limiting self-perceptions. Perhaps you, too, are grappling with a sense of unworthiness, that who you are and what you have to offer, are inconsequential. This is a devastating myth that cuts you off from the very experiences you’re wanting—worthiness, self-acceptance, and self-actualization.
WHAT YOU SUPPRESS IS ALWAYS MANIFESTED IN PATTERNS OF BEHAVIORS
It can be uncomfortable to confess that you feel inadequate or that who you present yourself to be is misaligned with your self-perception. But try as you might to suppress these feelings of unworthiness, they tend to leak out in patterns of behavior such as overcommitting, the elusive drive for perfection, procrastination, poor time management, or an absence of appropriate boundaries.
You might find that you’re always wanting to do more, give more, or be more than is required, but the outcomes remain the same—self-betrayal. You become crippled under the weight of your own self-imposed unrealistic expectations; worry, anxiety, and dejection become your constant companions. And, here’s perhaps the most devastating part of it all, each time you betray yourself, you unknowingly chisel away at your self-trust even more, amplifying those very feelings of unworthiness. Each commitment that you fail to honor teaches you to trust and value yourself less. Consequently, you become ensnared in this downward spiral of negativity.
COMMIT TO LIVING PURPOSEFULLY
To disrupt these patterns, commit to living with purpose. That is, allow your authentic self to just BE, lead with your strengths, embrace possibilities rather than doubts, and trust that the Universe is unequivocally on your side. It starts with knowing and trusting that YOU ARE ENOUGH even when you don’t feel that way or know how that’s possible. Trust that the spirit of life wants you to evolve to maximize your God-given potential and life’s purpose.
It also includes embracing a vision for your life that inspires hope and possibility and leaves the past rearward. Step boldly into this grander, more expansive vision of who you are. Because here’s the truth that you already know deep in your soul: you are not expressing the fullness of who you are. This disequilibrium tugs at you, gnaws at you, and creates deep internal conflict and unhappiness. This is the work of your Divine Spirit attempting to guide and reawaken you to your inherent greatness!
HABITUATING NEW PRACTICES TOWARDS YOUR SELF-ACCEPTANCE
To release the old, destructive patterns towards your worthiness and self-acceptance, you’ll need to habituate new ways of being. Here are few practices that can support your forward movement:
- ✓ Notice Your Patterns. Self-awareness is the gateway to change. Start paying attention to how your sense of unworthiness is manifested: Does it look like overcommitting followed by procrastination and poor time management? Recoiling from opportunities and challenges (risk-aversion)? Discounting your abilities and accomplishments? Striving for perfection only to be dissatisfied with whatever you create? All of the above? Be gentle with whatever you discover about yourself.
- ✓ Affirm: I AM ENOUGH! Let this serve as your new Affirmation and motivation, which you can customize to your unique situation. Recite it aloud as often as necessary. Write it on post-it notes and display prominently in your environment. Meditate on it and feel the divine energy vibrate through you as claim your inheritance!
- ✓ Establish and Honor Boundaries. Let me remind you that you are a human being—mind, body, and spirit—not a machine. (And even machines require care and maintenance!) Therefore, knowing your strengths and limitations, what you will and will not accept, is important to honoring and caring yourself. Before you commit to others, really assess if you have the time, energy, and wherewithal to truly be of service to others. Let others know what you can and cannot do, and your terms. Self-advocate. And, be sure to respect others’ boundaries as well. When you overcommit and fail to deliver, you unintentionally create hardships for others who are depending on you.
- ✓ Set SMART Goals. If you’ve habitually taken on too much or have a tendency to make projects grander than required, take a pause before you dive in. Set an intention to take on manageable, bit-sized pieces and pace yourself as you work. Setting SMART goals (S: Specific; M: Measurable; A: Achievable; R: Realistic; T: Time-specific) can be really useful.
- ✓ Seek Support. Seek support from someone whom you trust. Let that person know what you’ve learned about your patterns, about your commitment to new practices, and specific ways the person can support you in your journey towards realignment. Professional help such as life coaching or therapy is also a great vehicle for working out these issues.
It takes time to shift mindsets and habituate new practices. Stay the course and you’ll be abundantly rewarded! In the meantime, be patient and self-compassionate. Celebrate small victories—they lead to bigger victories, which build even more faith in yourself. I believe in your power and know that you’re going to make miracles happen. You’ve got so much to bring forth; the world—and your family—await your brilliance. Now, let’s get to work!
At Your Service,
About Glenda M. Francis
Glenda M. Francis is the founder of Audacious Inner Works Institute, a personal development and capacity building service organization. She is an ICF credentialed life coach specializing in confidence building and women’s wellness and power.
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