Dear Audacious You Readers,
Welcome to the fall season and sweater weather! While fall tends to feel mournful to me because it trails my favorite summer season and yields increasing grayness with dying leaving in its wake, I appreciate that there’s a greater evolutionary impulse at play.
‘TIS THE SEASON OF METAMORPHOSIS
Fall is about metamorphosis, releasing what’s no longer useful, and incubating in preparation for a new season of rejuvenation ahead. It presents us with a perfect opportunity to slow down and be present, take stock, and emerge with new insights and perspectives to propel us forward. As we slow down, we can more effectively evaluate what informs our actions, get clear about what’s driving any negative emotions, and work to achieve greater self-alignment.
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO YOUR WAYS OF BEING AS YOU WORK TOWARDS CHANGE
When you are in alignment, there’s congruence in your thought patterns, values, behaviors, and feelings. Internally, you experience a state of harmony and flow, which result in purposeful movement and authentic presence. However, when you’re working towards change for which the outcome is unknown, how you’re BEING—what you’re doing consistently and how you’re showing up—may be a more reliable indicator of growth than what you’re feeling. That’s because while you’re stretching towards your fuller self, the old self remains intact and this imbalance tends to create an internal battle between the default you and the new you you’re striving to become. In such cases, then, what you feel may be a misperception of the truth of what’s happening for you. Therefore, taking stock helps you to get clear and recalibrate.
BEING VS FEELING: A COACH PERSPECTIVE TOOL
Recently, I worked with a client who wasn’t feeling confident and badass because she had encountered setbacks and wasn’t getting the outcomes she had hoped for. But, despite the setbacks, which would have derailed her in the past and caused her to give up, she was BEING determined and resilient to overcome the challenges. With the support of coaching, she realized that it was her negative self-critique, borne out of her default thought pattern, which generated the negative feelings and blinded her to own self-agency and new ways of being. The Being vs Feeling framework helped her to shift perspective and appreciate her own resolve, and may be helpful for you, too, as you work to discern whether your being and feelings align.
TAKING STOCK
The rhythms of fall tend to stir complex emotions within us as the daylight shortens, the temperature gets colder, and nature prepares to hibernate. Here are a few ways to care for yourself amidst the seasonal shifts and take stock while incubating:
- ✓ Embrace the changing season. Resistance to change creates unnecessary suffering and anxiety. That is to say, go with the flow of the season! For example, consider how your energy levels shift throughout the day and when you’re most energized (depleted) so you can adjust your scheduling and plans to the extent possible. And, be sure to enjoy seasonal foods, drinks, activities, and clothing to boost your mood and zest for life. (Pumpkin spice latte, anyone
?) - ✓ Practice Mindfulness. Plan opportunities to commune in nature (e.g., apple picking, nature walks, drive to the countryside) and engage your senses to the changing sights, smells, tastes, and sounds of the season. Pay attention to what inspires you, motivates you, and influences you. Lean in.
- ✓ Journaling. Writing is cathartic and meditative. It’s the act of slowing down the rush of your thoughts and the search for answers that create the opening for new awareness and insights. Use your journal to sort out your challenges, investigate the source of your emotions or discontent, or to dream an audacious, inspiring life for yourself.
- ✓ Self-Study. Make self-inquiry an ongoing part of your self-discovery journey. Your journal can be especially useful here. As you reflect on yourself and your life, here are some questions you might explore:
- o What needs to happen for you to achieve greater alignment in your thoughts, actions, and emotions?
- o What practices, habits, roles, or even relationships are no longer useful for who you are now and your becoming? What might a releasing and cleansing plan look like for you?
- o What obstacles seem to be getting in the way of what you most want to achieve? What is your inner message about yourself during moments of setback and challenge?
- o What are your core guiding values and principles? How and when do they show up?
Pace yourself as you explore the answers to these hefty questions; the answers will likely be revealed slowly and over time with sustained focus. Fortunately, you’ve got the entire fall season (and beyond!) so be patient with yourself. Grant yourself grace and self-compassion as you confront your growth areas.
COZY UP AS YOU HIBERNATE
As you incubate towards a greater sense of self, be mindful to enjoy the season, release what no longer serves you, and write new scripts that spur you forward. Remember, it’s the BEING that gets things done, demonstrates your self-agency, and grows into new habits and character development. In the meantime, cozy up in your favorite sweaters and throw blankets for the incubation period. I’m excited for your becoming and here to assist when you’re ready.
At Your Service,
About Glenda M. Francis
Glenda M. Francis is the founder of Audacious Inner Works Institute, a personal development and capacity building service organization. She is an ICF credentialed life coach specializing in confidence building and women’s wellness and power.
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