Dear Audacious You Readers!
Welcome to the month of May in which we commemorate Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage and Mental Health Awareness! In this issue, we explore what it means to truly self-care and why self-care is your “soul” responsibility.
IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP (AND, IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY)
Mental Health Awareness month was originally commemorated as early as 1949 to educate the public about mental illness and health. Thankfully, nowadays, the concept of mental health has taken root in our collective consciousness, advanced no doubt, by the utter devastation caused by the COVID-19 pandemic and its deleterious impact on our collective health. The stigma once attached to people experiencing mental challenges is eroding, making it more publicly acceptable to talk about mental health challenges and seek professional support.
It’s okay to seek help—in fact, it’s wise to do so—and, conversely, it’s okay if you don’t feel okay during these extraordinarily challenging times. This month’s awareness offers us a powerful reminder to check-in and an opportunity to recalibrate. Be mindful, however, that caring for yourself—all of you—is a year-round proposition.
THE COMMODIFICATION OF SELF-CARE
Alas, in a society driven by profits, very few things remain sacrosanct. And the sacred practice of self-care is no exception, having become commodified for your consumption of beauty products, expensive spa treatments, and lavish vacations. And yes, sometimes a spa treatment of a hot stone massage (
) or a tropical getaway (
) is exactly what the doctor ordered. But true self-care is deeper than cosmetic rejuvenation and more enduring.
WHAT IT MEANS TO TRULY SELF-CARE
To truly self-care involves a holistic, sustained practice over a life span. Self-care is caring for your mind. Caring for your body. Caring for your spirit. Caring for your emotions. Caring for your relationships. Caring for your life and making choices that honor who you are.
Essentially, self-care is the practice of health management and when vigilantly attended to, can help to keep the professionals at bay. Self-care is about the time, attention, and care you give to your entire Being. And that is your soul responsibility for the life you were given.
SELF-CARE ≠ SELFISH
Let’s dispel the fallacy that self-care is a selfish act. I’ve repeatedly heard clients and others alike mislabel self-care as “selfish” when they finally decide to care for their neglected selves or to pursue long-held dreams and aspirations. They mistakenly confuse their God-given mandate to care for themselves (self-care) with self-obsession (selfishness).
Selfishness is the practice of exclusively and consistently centering the self without adequate regard for others in order to achieve some sort of advantage. This character trait is synonymous with “self-absorbedness” and “egocentrism.” A selfish person has little to no empathy for others.
Self-care, on the other hand, is what is expected of each of us for our own good as well as the collective good. Caring for yourself = minding your own business. It’s incredibly challenging to fill someone else’s bucket when your own supply is running on empty. As you know so well, you can’t give what you don’t have. When you invest in your self-care, you become more fully aligned with yourself, sprightly, and better positioned to invest in others.
INVESTING IN YOUR SELF-CARE
Now that we’ve clarified that matter, let’s focus on how-to truly self-care. Here are some ways you can invest in your wellness this month and beyond. As you read the list, consider: Which habits are already foundational to your practice? Where might you need to set intentions or recalibrate? Where might you need support to habituate these practices?
Mental Self-Care:
- ✓ Be mindful of the thoughts you upload and the language you use to craft your ideas and visions.
- ✓ Clarify what matters to you (your values) and prioritize accordingly.
- ✓ Cultivate a mindset of curiosity and lifelong learning.
- ✓ Read a wide variety of topics, do puzzles, and engage with new and complex ideas.
Physical Self-Care:
- ✓ Attend to your personal grooming and hygiene.
- ✓ Discover how you like to move your body to exercise and just do it!
- ✓ Sleep well (sleeping apps may help) and take power naps when needed.
- ✓ Drink plenty of water, especially upon awaking in the morning before eating breakfast.
- ✓ Make doctors’ visits a yearly routine.
Spiritual Self-Care:
- ✓ Fill your bucket with what feeds your soul and align yourself with people/things that bring you joy!
- ✓ Connect with nature and your Divine.
- ✓ Pray, meditate, breathe, be present.
- ✓ Engage in work and projects that feel purposeful and meaningful to you.
- ✓ Practice forgiveness to relinquish resentments and anger in order to achieve peace.
Emotional Self-Care:
- ✓ Establish and maintain appropriate boundaries—respect others’ boundaries as well.
- ✓ Pay attention to how you react to certain situations and people so you can appropriately regulate your emotions (e.g., anger, fear, and disgust).
- ✓ Exploit opportunities to practice self-management and new ways of responding (e.g., accept when it’s time to let go rather than hold on).
- ✓ Practice radical honesty about what you feel and think (without holding others hostage) and vulnerability to build and deepen connections.
Social Self-Care:
- ✓ Find and cultivate your tribe (support networks). Invest in key relationships and periodically re-evaluate them especially during pivotal life changes.
- ✓ Stay connected—via Zoom, text messages, FaceTime, or socially-distant outings.
- ✓ Mentor someone in need or be a companion to an elderly.
- ✓ Caring for animals can work wonders, too!
Ultimately, when you truly care for all of you, you not only honor yourself but the Divine within you; you honor the sacred life that you were given by striving to make the most of it. May it be so towards a greater realization of your wellness, divinity, and power.
Cheers to Your Wellness,
About Glenda M. Francis
Glenda M. Francis is the founder of Audacious Inner Works Institute, a personal development and capacity building service organization. She is an ICF credentialed life coach specializing in confidence building and women’s wellness and power.
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